A Wedding in Wonderland
by Booger and Dork
Summary: Next generation Champion saves Underland from the clutches of evil. Romance in the process. We suck at summaries and promise the story is a hundred percent better. Kthxbai.
1. Chapter 1  Dork

Rhapsody Hope had just begun following an animal that she was planning on eating for supper through the woods when she heard a strange sound. She looked all around her, but saw nothing. Then she heard the sound again, this time closer. When she looked around again she saw a rustling in the bushes. She held her dagger up in front of her and slowly and carefully inched toward the bushes that had moved. She could faintly see something reddish that looked like hair behind the bush. She had the strange feeling that someone had been following her, even though she had never met any creatures with the mental capacity necessary for something like that in the Outlands before. As it turned out, she was being followed, and it just so happened that her stalker was human just as she was. What's more, the person—or should I say people—following her had lived in the Outlands since before she was even born. She reached out with her free hand and pulled back the bushes to reveal two humans. One of them was a female with a very large head and funny looking red hair, and the other was a younger looking male who had a heart-shaped eye patch over one of his eyes. The two people were handcuffed together. Rhapsody had seen humans besides herself before, although she couldn't recall when or where, but never anyone that looked like this. She frowned in concentration. The female had a very large smile across her already large face, and she was staring at Rhapsody in a way that made her feel very uncomfortable. "Isn't she perfect, Stayne?" she said, and looked up at the man.

"Well," Stayne replied, "I don't know. She looks a bit…distorted…if you know what I mean."

"No, I do not know what you mean. And for that reason, I shall ignore your comment."

Rhapsody was very confused by all this, but she still had some of her knowledge of human procedures from what felt like a previous life…something she simply could not remember. She could also understand their words, though they were not Outlandish. She curtsied to the best of her ability and said, "Good day, my name is Rhapsody Hope." The English words felt strange to her lips, but she took the utmost care not to show it.

"I am the Red Queen, Iracebeth, and I would like to ask you for a favor. I really need your help," Iracebeth was using a very different voice from her usual one. She was trying to sound as pitiful as possible, and she succeeded. Rhapsody felt sorry for her without even knowing the first thing about her. The Red Queen continued, "This is my knave, Islovic Stayne." The man bowed at the waist.

"How do you do?"

"We are neither in the best of spirits," said Stayne, "for you see, Iracebeth's horrid little sister has stolen her crown…and her throne. She even had the two of us banished from the kingdom!"

This did sound awful to Rhapsody, but she didn't know what in the world she was expected to do about it. "What can I do to help?" she offered anyway.

"Well," said the Queen, "I have heard it rumored that Mirana—that's my sister's name—has a young girl about your age that she calls her 'New Champion.' The Oraculum speaks of a day known as the Klingon Day when a young girl who looks very much like this New Champion will rise up with a sword opposite the one in the White Queen's possession and slay the New Champion."

"You're going to have to explain most of that to me," said Rhapsody with a confused look, "What's the 'Oraculum'? What swords are you talking about? And are you asking me to kill someone, because I don't think I could ever do something like that."

"Oh dear me. It looks you and I are going to have to have a looong talk. Won't you come to my hut and let me explain it all to you while we have a little snack?" And with that, she put her free arm around Rhapsody's shoulder and led her through the bushes the way she and Stayne had come.

When they arrived at Iracebeth and Stayne's little hut made of sticks, grass, and other such materials, the Red Queen began to explain many things to Rhapsody. She told her about the Oraculum, which was a scroll that played a double role as history and prophecy. It had every day in that went by—whether that day had happened yet or not—in Underland. She explained that the White Queen, as her sister was called, was in possession of a sword called the Vorpal Sword, and that that was the sword that her New Champion would use. She told Rhapsody that she would have to wield the Laprov Sword, which was a mirrored version of the Vorpal Sword, in order to defeat the Champion.

"I just…I don't think I could kill a person, Queen. I'm sorry," said Rhapsody.

"Oh, it isn't as hard as it sounds," Iracebeth said, "Trust me, I was nervous the first time I had to kill someone, too. It's not really all that different from killing an animal, to tell you the truth."

"You've killed a person before?" said Rhapsody anxiously.

"I had no other choice, dear," said the Queen, and Stayne coughed a little. Iracebeth gave him a strange look that Rhapsody didn't see.

"I really would like to help you," she said, "but I just don't think I could do it."

"Come now, dear, I'll have Stayne here train you in fencing. You'll do just fine," she smiled reassuringly.

Rhapsody, who had grown up hunting for food in the wilderness of the Outlands, wanted so desperately to fit in with other humans like herself. She finally agreed to at least try. Iracebeth informed her then that she could begin to learn fencing as soon as she found a way to break the handcuffs so Stayne could train her.

Rhapsody suddenly realized that she had somehow lost her dagger along the way to the Queen's. She backtracked their steps and soon found it lying in a pile of weeds near the edge of the forest. She walked over and picked it up, happy that she wouldn't have to take the time to find something else that was sharp enough to cut the handcuffs. She immediately made her way back to the hut and cut the two people apart. Once she had cut the cuffs from their wrists, Stayne said, "I suggest we begin the lessons in the morning since it's getting a bit late."

"No!" Iracebeth exclaimed, "They shall begin now!"

"But Queen, the girl is likely to be very tired. Don't you think she needs some rest?"

Iracebeth sighed deeply, knowing that Stayne didn't care the least bit about Rhapsody, but she agreed anyway, since he was still probably right.

"Thank you very much," said Rhapsody, and she curtsied again. Then she began to walk away, but the Red Queen stopped her and offered to let her stay with them. "Oh, you've already been so kind to me, I just couldn't accept-" The Queen interrupted her.

"I absolutely insist!" Stayne rolled his eyes, but neither of the ladies saw it.

"Well…alright," said Rhapsody, so she followed Iracebeth into the hut, "Thank you very much."

"Oh, it's a pleasure, dear," she said. Stayne coughed again, and again got a dirty look from Iracebeth.


	2. Chapter 2 Dork

"Good night," Kimberlee Kingsleigh said to all the Hanurabis. There in the dining room were her adoptive parents, her seven adoptive brothers, and her two adoptive sisters.

"Good night, Kimiko," they all replied. She went to her room and closed the door, anxious to hurry up and go to sleep. But Kim wasn't tired. Every night since she could remember, when she would fall asleep, she would travel to another world: a world she called Wonderland. She vaguely remembered her mother, Alice Kingsleigh, telling her about the world just before she left her with the Hanurabi family in Japan. As soon as Kim's head hit her pillow, she drifted off to sleep.

She almost immediately found herself standing in a round room with doors all around her. She knew the drill well: she walked straight over to the table that appeared instantly before her in the center of the room, picked up the key that appeared on it, and picked up the little bottle labeled "Drink Me." It was filled with a liquid called pishsalver, she knew, and would make her shrink. She drank just the right amount to pass through a door much smaller than all the others. She then picked up the small pastry—upelkuchen—that appeared below the table and carried it with her over to the door. It would help her grow taller again when she ate it. She unlocked the door with the key, opened it, and stepped through. Once in the garden on the other side, she nibbled at the cake until she had returned to her correct size. Then Kim set out for the house of Tarrent Hightopp, the Hatter for the White Queen, and a good friend of hers. She arrived in minutes, and Tarrent's son Theodore was already waiting for her at the table set up in front of the cottage.

"Will you join me for tea?"

"Why of course, Teddy," she giggled, and she walked over and took the seat right next to him—although there were at least twenty empty seats around the huge table. Right on cue, Tarrent came walking out of the cottage.

"Good evening, Kimberlee," he said. Kim noticed a dash of a Scottish accent in his voice and knew something was up.

"What is it, Hatter?" she asked.

"I need to talk to the two of you." Now the Scottish had completely taken over, and Tarrent's large eyes were twinkling. Teddy and Kim looked at each other warily. "Come on into the house."

"Can't we at least finish our tea?" asked Teddy.

"It cannot wait a moment longer. Now come on." They followed him into the house without further comment, their faces very pale.

They sat inside for several minutes before anyone spoke. The Hatter finally broke the silence, "Kimberlee Kingsleigh." He added extra emphasis to the Kingsleigh.

Kim was confused, but not very surprised, since Tarrent was, of course, mad. "Yes?"

"You remember my telling you about your mother?"

"Yes, of course."

"And about her slaying the Jabberwocky?"

"Yes, she was the Champion of the White Queen. I remember."

"And the Vorpal Sword, you remember it, too?"

"Yes. That was the sword she used to slay it. No other sword would have been adequate."

"And you know that the Vorpal Sword is in possession of the White Queen."

"Yes." She was extremely confused now. She couldn't think of what he could possibly be getting at. He quizzed her on her mom sometimes, but he never sounded this serious about it.

"I have something to show you." He quickly stood and walked off toward his room. He stopped for a moment, muttering something Outlandish under his breath. Teddy and Kim stayed in their seats. "Aren't you two coming?"

"Dad, you never let us into your room. Why are you all of a sudden inviting us in there?"

"Because," he sighed before continuing, "the Klingon Day is fast approaching. You'll understand everything in time; just follow me for now."

"Alright. I suppose you know best." They still looked doubtful, but they stood and followed him into his room. The inside looked for the most part like a normal bedroom. There was a large window on the far wall, and beside it was the bed. Next to it stood a small bedside table. On the left wall was a small dresser, and beside it was the door to the closet. The only thing remotely strange about it was the ornately decorated wardrobe on the right wall, and that was right where Tarrent headed. When Teddy and Kim had both come to stand behind him, he opened the wardrobe's two doors. The only thing inside was a sword mounted upside down. The blade of the sword appeared to be wavy, almost as if the sword were simply a mirage, as if it wasn't really there at all. Teddy and Kim simply stared.

"This, children," Tarrent began as he usually did when explaining things. He always called them children even though they were 16 and 18 years old. "This, children, is called the Laprov Sword. It is the mirror image of the Vorpal Sword. That's why it looks distorted." Neither of them knew what to say, so Tarrent continued, "Kimberlee Kingsleigh, you have a far greater task ahead of you than you could ever imagine. I'm taking you to see the White Queen this evening. She will explain it to you in more detail."

"I'm actually going to meet the White Queen? That is so cool!" Kim blurted. Then she corrected herself when she saw the serious look on Tarrent's face, "I mean, I would be honored to do anything I can for Underland." Tarrent just grinned and closed the wardrobe, leading the way outside, down a path, and towards the White Queen's palace in Marmoreal.

They arrived in minutes at the Queen's palace. She was out front in the garden and greeted them with her signature overly graceful wave and slight bow. "Hello, Hatter, Theodore, Kimberlee," she nodded to each in turn, "Welcome!"

Kim curtsied and replied, "Thank you, Your Highness. The Hatter tells me that there is something I can do for you."

"Oh, yes, yes! Has he told you that you are to become my New Champion?"

Kim was speechless. She hadn't the slightest idea what Queen Mirana meant.

"Oh. I suppose not."

"Kim," Tarrent said, "You are going to become the next Champion for the White Queen and all of Underland. You will, on the Klingon Day, take the Vorpal Sword and smite the Champion of the Red Queen."

"I…I thought the Red Queen had been banished years ago to the Outlands…"

"She was," said Mirana, "But according to the Oraculum, she is going to return to Underland with a Champion of her own—one who looks very much like yourself."

"And I have to…fight her?"

"Yes! My, you do catch on quickly!"

"I'd venture to say she's even muchier than her mother was," the Hatter said with a grin. No one noticed, but Teddy grinned, too. If anybody noticed Kim's muchness, he did.

"I don't have to kill anybody, do I?" Kim asked. She was beginning to feel rather sick.

"Well, dear, that all depends on whether or not she'll surrender. If she refuses to surrender, you haven't any choice," Mirana explained, sounding rather sickened by the concept herself.

"I just really don't think I could kill anyone."

"But would you be willing to at least try to duel with her?" asked Tarrent.

After several minutes of silence, Kim finally whispered her reply, "Yes. Anything for Wonderland." She sighed deeply, and the others felt truly sorry for her. "When do I receive the Vorpal Sword?" She said, a little more courage in her voice now.

"Oh, how silly of me! I forgot to tell you about that! On the eve before the Klingon Day, you shall reach out and take hold on the Laprov Sword. At the same moment, your rival will be reaching out to take the Vorpal Sword from my palace. At that moment, the swords will switch and you will then hold the Vorpal Sword in your hands."

"How will the other girl get to the Vorpal Sword if it's inside the palace?" Teddy spoke for the first time since they had entered the palace.

"Well, I…I don't know," Mirana looked puzzled, "But I'm sure it will come about somehow. The sword is kept in my son Prince Westley's bedroom. I suppose she'll somehow get in there," she frowned as she said that, "I don't understand it, but I will not doubt the Oraculum."

The others nodded, bowed, and headed back toward the Hightopps' cottage.

Several days passed, and nothing more was mentioned about the Vorpal Sword, the Laprov Sword, or even the Klingon Day. Kim and Teddy spent their days (or nights, for that matter) learning how to properly attend a Mad Tea Party from Tarrent, who was acting unusually mad, even for him. Kim, however could not keep her mind off of the Klingon Day. She was rather upset about it, but she didn't tell anyone, not even Teddy, who seemed to think that nothing at all was wrong. She puzzled about it for ages before finally dismissing it. She would know what to do when the time came. Wonderland was strange like that.


	3. Chapter 3 Booger

It was about midday when Rhapsody paused in her training and walked to the hut for a drink of water. She wiped the sweat from her brow. She had been training since early morning. Stayne had helped her a little, but she caught on fast to his methods, and so needed no further instruction.

Just as she neared the hut, almost close enough to taste the water that she knew waited inside, Iracebeth rushed towards her, her bright red hair mussed from its usual style and her dress dirtied.

"Oh, Rhapsody, my dear, I'm so glad I found you!" she gasped dramatically, throwing a hand over her brow. Rhapsody looked her over.

"Queen, what happened? You look…" Her voice trailed off. She didn't want to insult the Queen by telling her she looked hideous. Iracebeth had been nothing but kind to her since they had met, so she stayed quiet about it, instead repeating her first question. "What happened?"

"It was Stayne," Iracebeth whimpered. "He attacked me in the woods when I went out for a stroll earlier. He told me he wanted to steal the throne from my sister himself, that he didn't need you or me to get it for him." Iracebeth moaned a little, giant tears welling up in her eyes. "He was going to kill me, Rhapsody, and then he was going to kill you… I had to warn you before… Before…" Iracebeth burst into tears.

Rhapsody was shocked. Stayne? He seemed to be a rather nice fellow, completely loyal to the Queen and her endeavors. Rhapsody sensed no deceit behind Iracebeth's words, and had no reason to. She placed a hand on Iracebeth's shoulder. "What should we do?"

"Oh, Rhapsody, I believe that this will end badly if we do not act… Please forgive me for saying this, but you must kill Stayne." Iracebeth wiped a tear from her eye. "I know I am too tenderhearted to lay a hand upon him, but you, my dear, are strong and capable of destroying this threat before something terrible happens. I fear that he will kill us otherwise."

Rhapsody's blood ran cold. She knew she had to do it, but that didn't diminish the harsh reality that she was going to…kill a human being. Her hand reflexively tightened around the hilt of her dagger. She hadn't realized that she was still holding it.

"Will you do it, dear?" Iracebeth asked, wringing her petite hands.

Rhapsody was silent for a moment before answering, rather grudgingly. "Yes. I will kill him."

Rhapsody trembled slightly, perched high in a tree, waiting. Iracebeth told her that Stayne was about to take his daily walk, so she had hurried to a good vantage point. What a possible killer was doing taking a relaxing walk through the woods in the Outlands, she didn't know. All she knew was that something had threatened her life, and she had to protect that. Her life was just about the only thing she had. Rhapsody ran a finger over the cold metal of her dagger, still waiting. Presently, she heard footsteps. Heavy booted footsteps that could come from no one but Islovic Stayne, the Knave of the Red Queen.

Rhapsody took a deep breath, narrowed her eyes, and leapt from her perch. Stayne stumbled and fell from her sudden weight on his upper body, letting out a yelp of surprise. Rhapsody shut her eyes tight and raised the dagger, driving it home with all of her strength. She didn't open her eyes until she felt Stayne fall still beneath her. Even then, she didn't look too closely at the body. She took one of his boots, dragging him off of the beaten path with a grunt. He was rather heavy, to say the least.

Back in the hut, Iracebeth sat, smoothing her hair and skirts. She had hated tearing her dress and marring her gorgeous appearance like that, but it had been a necessary sacrifice to obtain her goal. Stayne had been the first of many to die for the New Revolution. She would take the throne back from Mirana, and make sure she would never take anything from her again. Ever.

A shriek pierced the air, carrying even to the hut. Iracebeth smiled a quite deranged smile. Islovic was dead. Rhapsody had done nicely. Her first test, passed.

Everything was going according to plan.


	4. Chapter 4 Dork

Kimberlee wasn't in quite as big a hurry to drift off to sleep this night. She went to bed with a frown and a wrinkled brow. She was worried she was going to let down Underland and everyone she held dear. Her motions were much slower than usual as she went through her nightly routine in the Room of Doors. She walked to the Hightopps' cottage and saw that Teddy wasn't outside; she knew he must be worried about her, too. She strode up to the door and was just about to knock when it flew open at the hand of Tarrent, eyes aglow and hair more frazzled than she had ever seen it before.

"Where have you been?" he exclaimed, "What took you so long?"

"Oh, I'm sorry…" Kimi muttered, throwing a questioning look in Teddy's direction. He merely shrugged.

With a deep sigh, Tarrent murmured, "Well, at least your delay gave Teddy and I time to get some things together for your journey."

"Journey?"

"He wants me to show you around Underland," Teddy explained—his voice sounded a bit strained to Kim—smiling at his father, "You know, the places you haven't seen yet."

"My, what a lovely idea!"

"You will be visiting some of the most yadder places tonight," Tarrent said, "so we packed some water and food for the trip." He had been using Outlandish words a lot more than usual lately. Kimi knew that yadder meant "far away," but she still wished he would try to remember that she didn't know much Outlandish. She knew she just had to bear with him, though, considering his madness.

Few other words were exchanged before Teddy and Kim were off. As soon as they were out of the Hatter's hearing range, Theodore Hightopp cleared his throat and slowed his pace. Kimi slowed hers to match and looked at him as she walked. He had his hands in his pockets, and he had begun to whistle nonchalantly, but Kim could tell he was tense. "Is something wrong, Teddy?"

"What? No, of course not, not at all."

She stopped. He followed suit and turned to face her, an odd frown on his face. "Ted, what's the matter? You can tell me anything, you know."

"Yeah, I know…" he mumbled, visibly tensing even more, "It's just…I don't want you to worry…"

"Theodore Abernathy Hightopp, that is most ridiculous thing you have ever said to me. Don't you think I'm already worried? Now tell me, what is wrong with you?"

"That's just the point. I don't want to worry you any more than you already are."

Without another word, Kimi started walking again. Teddy followed her in silence for several yards before she stopped again. Still without a word, she stepped off the path into the woods.

"Hey! What're you doing? Get back here!" Teddy yelled, "I'm your guide! You can't just go running off like that." When she didn't reappear, Teddy went in after her. "Kimi? Where are you? Come on, this isn't funny."

She peeked around a tree with a grin. "Hello. Here I am. Now tell me what's wrong."

"I already told you: I can't."

"Alright, have it your way." With that, she disappeared again. He tried to follow her, but she was nowhere to be seen.

He looked for her for half an hour before he finally decided he had better call her name again. "Kimi? Kim? Look, this is getting out of hand. Come on out, would you?"

He heard her voice, but couldn't tell which direction it was coming from. "I'll only come out if you promise to tell me what your problem is." He heard a satisfied giggle, too.

With a cough and a frown, he sat down in the bushes. "You know, I can be as stubborn as you can. Do you _know_ who my father is?"

"Sure I do," he still couldn't tell where her voice was coming from, "but you must remember who _my_ mother is." Another satisfied giggle.

He decided to sit it out for awhile. He knew she would either get bored or scared pretty soon. She had somehow managed to wander into the edge of the Tulgey Wood. An hour went by. Then two. He soon realized that the night would be gone before long, and he had better find her and get on with the tour if he didn't want to upset the Hatter even more than he already was.

"Okay, okay! I'll tell you!" he growled. No answer. "Did you hear? I said I'll tell you if you come out." Still nothing. "Kimi? I swear I'll tell you everything…I promise, Kim." He was starting to get worried. He stood up quickly and started running through the forest. "Kimi! Kim? Where are you? Please come out. Please? This isn't funny, Kimi." Suddenly he lost his footing and rolled into a tree. "Naught for usal," he muttered before he realized it, "I'll never find her in these woods." When he looked up to see what he had tripped over, he saw two extremely white roots. They were oddly straight…He walked over to get a closer look. "Kim?" he whispered. Yep, those were her legs alright.

He knelt beside her and gently pulled her out of the bushes. Her face was more pale than usual, and he noticed that her right arm was bleeding. It looked like a bite of some sort, so he pulled out one of the water bottles and poured some over it to wash the blood off. It was definitely a bite, and a big one at that. It looked almost like that of a bandersnatch, but he didn't understand what a bandersnatch would be doing in the Tulgey Wood. He didn't understand much of anything these days, though, with the Klingon Day fast approaching. Things were definitely getting curiouser and curiouser, to say the least. He quickly tore a strip of fabric from the sleeve of his shirt and tied it around Kimberlee's arm.

He sat beside her still body for several minutes before trying to rouse her. He shook her shoulders gently and murmured, "Kimi…wake up now, will you? The night's gonna be over before we know it, and Dad'll be mad at me for not doing my job right." He waited a few minutes before shaking her again, this time not so gently. "Kim? Are you…okay? Kimi?" His words fell to a barely audible whisper. "Kimberlee Kingsleigh, you're driving me mad."

He leaned against a tree and started to cry. He kept repeating her name and whispering, "Nunz, nunz." He could bring himself to say nothing else. He hardly noticed that he was beginning to sound just like his father. He closed his eyes and drifted away, his own words and tears pulling him into a deep sleep.

When Kimi awoke, she expected to be in her bedroom at the Hanurabis, as she usually did if she fell asleep in Underland. What she saw wasn't what she expected at all. Her first sights were a bunch of trees overhead. She vaguely remembered that she was in a forest of sorts, but it didn't look familiar at all. The sun was shining dimly through the gaps in the branches above, so she knew she couldn't be in Underland anymore—she only went there at night.

She tried to use her arms to push herself into a sitting position, but soon discovered that putting her weight on her right arm sent sharp pains shooting through it. She pushed up with her left arm and stared at her right in disbelief. There, wrapped around her arm, was a very bloody strip of cloth. She couldn't imagine what had happened to her arm that would make it bleed so, but she did recognize the fabric to be that of Theodore Hightopp. She looked up to see him sitting across from her, leaning against a tree, fast asleep. She then understood that she was somehow still in Underland, but she didn't understand how that could be. She carefully stood up and straightened and brushed off her dress.

"Teddy?" she said as she stepped closer to him, "Ted, wake up." She nudged him in the side with her foot. He groaned a bit and made a movement like he was going to roll over, which caused him to fall face-first onto the ground. He was awake instantly.

He got to his feet and rubbed his nose, frowning in concentration. Then, for no apparent reason, he looked Kimi right in the eye and whispered, "You're alive."

"Well, duh." She followed his gaze to the bloody cloth around her arm. Then she looked up to see his torn sleeve. His eyes again met hers, and she saw that they were puffy and a bit red. "Oh, Teddy, I…I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound—"

He interrupted her by throwing his arms around her. She hugged him back, though it hurt her arm a little. When he finally pulled away, he muttered, "I thought you were…well, you know." When she didn't answer, he continued, "What happened?"

"Well…I don't know, really. I thought you would."

"All I know is it's a bandersnatch bite. How you got it beats me. The last thing I knew, we were having a contest to see who was the most stubborn."

Kimi closed her eyes and tried her best to remember. After awhile, she just said, "The last thing I remember is deciding that I was being silly and needed to let you find me. I turned around and tried to go back the way I had come, but I couldn't see you. I was just about to call your name when something suddenly whacked me from behind, and I…well, it felt like I fell asleep, but I guess it knocked me unconscious. That must be why I didn't wake up back home."

"Hmm…I still don't know what a bandersnatch would be doing in these parts…" Teddy mumbled, "The only thing I know to do is go back home and tell Dad about all this. He'll know what to do."

"Oh, Teddy, I'm so sorry! This is all my fault. If I hadn't been so stubborn, we wouldn't be in this mess."

"Don't you worry about it. It's probably actually a good thing that this happened."

"What do you mean?"

"Well…my dad told me to be on the lookout for weird things happening in Underland. He wanted me to inform him immediately if anything seemed strange. In fact, that might be exactly what he sent us out here for: because he _knew_ something weird was gonna happen."

"I don't know…I feel just awful…"

"Listen, if this is anybody's fault, it's mine. I should've just told you what was the matter with me last night instead of beating around the bush like I did."

"No, Teddy, I…I shouldn't have pushed the subject. I should've just let it go when you said you couldn't tell me."

"Well, I'm gonna tell you now: I'm—"

"Don't," she interrupted, putting a finger to his lips. "Not now. You can tell me later."

"You know what? Girls are gallymoggers."

"What does that mean? You know I don't know much Outlandish."

"It just means you're crazy," he said, "and you're making me crazy, too." Under his breath, he added, "crazy about you." He didn't know she heard him, and she knew that, so she didn't answer. They made their way out of the Tulgey Wood and back toward the Hatter's cottage in silence, both faces blushing and bearing content smiles.


	5. Chapter 5 Dork

Rhapsody felt absolutely awful as she stood outside the Red Queen's tent and waited to be called in. She had killed her first man, and the pain weighing on her heart was almost more than she could bear. She just _had_ to talk to Iracebeth right away.

"You can come in, now, dear!" came the voice of the former queen from Crims. As Rhapsody stepped inside, Iracebeth said, "I wasn't dressed properly. I had to wash up a bit. It isn't every day you get to have tea with a hero, you know."

"I don't feel like a hero. I feel terrible."

"You did the right thing, sweetheart." She put her hand on Rhapsody's shoulder and gave her a reassuring smile.

"But he never even did anything to me. I did it for you, not because I had a personal reason. That just seems wrong to me."

"Dear, it's better if you kill someone coldly than in anger. That's why I didn't tell you before."

"…Tell me what?"

"Well, sweetie…" she put her arm around Rhapsody's shoulders as she continued, "Islovic Stayne has been a bad man for a very long time. When you were just a little girl, he…well, he poisoned your father."

Rhapsody Hope backed away in stunned silence. "_What_?"

"I hate to say it, but you simply _must_ know. He gave your father an extremely high dosage of pishsalver, shrinking your father so tiny that he could never grow large again."

"Why couldn't my father eat a bit of upelkuchen?"

"No crumb could ever be small enough to fit into his teeny mouth."

"Oh." Rhapsody's blood ran cold as she realized that the queen hadn't told her before so she wouldn't be killing Stayne out of revenge.

"Thank you, your Highness."

"Whatever for, darling?"

"For stopping me from killing him out of revenge. I would hate myself even more for that." Rhapsody was more determined than ever to help the queen regain control of her kingdom. She couldn't imagine how horrible a person her sister must be to steal the throne from her. "Queen Iracebeth, when I came in here, I was going to tell you I didn't think I would be able to duel with the Champion. But I feel much better now. You can count on me. Just tell me what I need to do next."

Iracebeth's grin filled the whole of her very large face. "Well, you're going to have to get to the Vorpal Sword somehow. You see, it's inside my sister Mirana's palace in Marmoreal. It'll be a long journey, but I think you can handle it. When you have the sword, you must bring it here and show it to me…" Iracebeth pulled out a map of Underland and gave it to Rhapsody, telling her that she would need to leave for Marmoreal as soon as possible.

Though the journey was long, it was no trouble for Rhapsody. She had been traveling all throughout the Outlands ever since she could remember, and she knew how to take care of herself. Over the next few days—and often nights, too—she traveled through the southern part of Iplam, crossed through Snud, and finally came to Marmoreal. She stopped and rested as little as possible only a few times during her journey. When she came into Marmoreal, she found a glade, built a fire, and settled down to rest. She had no idea how she was going to get into the Castle of the White Queen, but she knew she would think of something in due time.


	6. Chapter 6 Dork

"I knew you would have trouble," the Hatter was ranting, "I just knew it." Though his voice was loud, his hands were gentle as he tended Kimberlee's wound.

"It's all my fault," Teddy was saying for the umpteenth time, "I'm really sorry, Dad."

"It's both our faults," Kimi said. She tried to smile reassuringly at him, but the heat in Tarrent's voice made it difficult.

"It just doesn't make sense. Is someone behind this? Or should I assume that it's just Underland's way of preparing itself for the Klingon Day?" He had finished tending to Kimi's arm and was now waving his arms around and pacing the kitchen. Teddy and Kim sat together at the dining table, trying not to look at each other. Suddenly, Tarrent whirled around and jabbed his finger in their direction. "As much as I hate it, it's the only thing to do. You two are just gonna have to try again. Kimberlee needs to see Underland, and _you—_" he pointed straight at Teddy as he said this, his eyes locked on him, "you need to grow up. Somehow, you've got to learn to me a man. You're eighteen years old, son." He sighed and hung his head, putting his hands on the table to hold himself steady. He seemed suddenly weak, frail. "You're not always gonna have me around to tell you what to do."

They packed more things into their bag this time, adding a makeshift first-aid kit that Tarrent had put together. This time, they were supposed to visit all of Underland before they ever came back home. They would sleep where they could, in the woods if necessary. They packed blankets and jackets to keep warm on the cold nights. Kim had agreed to stay in Underland for a few days, since she knew time passed differently there. She knew that if she went to sleep naturally, she would wake up back home, so she planned to take some sleeping pills Tarrent had packed in the first-aid kit. She didn't know how that would help, but Tarrent had said they were "special," so she trusted his judgment.

Teddy promised his father that he would be more responsible, and they set out again. They hardly spoke to each other as they returned to their prior path. They had a lot of growing up to do, and fast.


	7. Chapter 7 Dork

As dusk fell on Marmoreal, Rhapsody was just waking from her long nap. She had decided that before she could figure out how to get into the palace, she would need to go have a look at it. She left most of her things in the glade, taking only her dagger with her. She strapped it to her leg and hid it under her skirts, just in case she happened to be seen.

The castle wasn't very far, and she soon found herself gazing at it from the edge of the woods. It was far more beautiful than she had expected. She had known it would be white, since its queen was the White, but she hadn't expected it to shine so, especially in the moonlight. She stood and stared at it for several moments before finally deciding to slip into the garden in the back. It was in the shadow of the palace, and there were very few lights to be seen, so she was braver than she had expected herself to be. Before long, she found herself in the garden, hiding in some shrubbery. As far as she could tell from her vantage point, she was alone.

She had just collected enough courage to stand and move closer when a door opened and a young man stepped out of the castle into the garden. Rhapsody quickly ducked back into the shrubs. The young man hadn't even noticed her movement. She could see that he was preoccupied with something. He carried something in his arms that she didn't recognize. She watched closely as he walked to a small bench under one of the only lamps in the garden and sat down on it. Then, he put some sort of strap around his neck that Rhapsody could see was attached to the object he carried in two different places.

She had managed to get quite distracted from the task at hand: she was now focused solely on the object the young gentleman now held. She eased closer and was pleasantly surprised when he began to strum the strings. She had heard music before, but it had been so very long ago she could hardly remember. Now that she heard it again, her interest got the better of her. Before she knew what she was doing, she had stepped even closer to get a better view. The music stopped abruptly as the young man looked around. She ducked back into her hiding place and held her breath as his eyes scanned the garden. He seemed a little anxious now, but he began to play his instrument again.

To avoid being seen, Rhapsody stayed where she was. She was again pleasantly surprised as the boy began to sing. Some of his words were English, others were Outlandish. He sang of a time when peace would come to Underland and never leave. Rhapsody was again entranced and moved a little closer, but he didn't hear her this time. When his song was finished, he just sat and stared into space for a moment. Rhapsody, who had long forgotten her purpose in coming to the garden, thought only of the beautiful music. "Don't stop," she said in English. His eyes were instantly fixed on her as he jumped up from the bench.

"Who's there?" His voice sounded strong, but somewhat fearful. He also sounded a bit embarrassed.

When Rhapsody realized what she had just done, she didn't know what to do. Her plans came suddenly crashing down around her, and she couldn't bring herself to move.

"I said _who's there_," he repeated, "Show yourself! The Prince of Marmoreal and all Underland commands you to speak!"

She knew he was trying to sound authoritative, but she couldn't help smiling a little. He looked silly to her, standing there with the instrument around his neck. She decided she had no other choice but to step out of the shadows and introduce herself. She could worry about the sword later.

"My name is Rhapsody Hope," she said as she stepped closer to him. "I heard you playing, and it's just been so long since I heard real music, and I didn't want to disturb you, and I…well, I didn't _mean_ to listen. I just…" She trailed off as she saw his gaze soften. "I'm, uh, terribly sorry, sir." His face was much different now than it had been moments ago, and Rhapsody didn't know what to think of it. "I guess I'll just be going then…"

"No, wait," he took her arm as she started to turn, "Did you really like my playing?"

She turned back to face him, but for whatever reason, couldn't find the right words. She wanted to tell him how beautiful it was, but all she could say was, "Yeah…"

"Won't you stay a little while?" His face was even harder to discern now. "You see, usually when I play my guitar, people groan and tell me to play the piano or harp instead. My mother says they're more graceful."

"Is your mother the White Queen?" Rhapsody asked before she could catch herself.

"Yes," he said with a bit of a chuckle, "Oh, I'm sorry, how rude of me! I haven't told you my name! I'm Westley."

"Well, I suppose I could stay for a few minutes, Prince Westley, if you're sure you don't mind. I'd like to hear another song."

He smiled and sat on the bench again, this time sitting to one side and inviting her to join him. A bit reluctantly, she sat down beside him. "Please, just call me Westley. Adding Prince at the front just sounds so stuffy."

She wasn't sure she knew what he meant, but she agreed to do so if he would prefer it. He started playing again, and she stared down at his fingers as he strummed the strings. He didn't sing along with this one, but she didn't mind. She thought it might make her feel funny if he did. She listened to several songs, then stood and told him she needed to be going.

"If you must go, then will you promise to come back?" he asked, standing as well.

"Well, I guess I could come back tomorrow night…" she said. She didn't want to put off her mission too long, but she didn't think one more night could hurt. The queen hadn't told her to be in any particular rush anyway.

"I would be delighted, miss," he said with a slight nod, and again Rhapsody didn't understand his facial expression. She smiled at him and quickly slipped out of the garden the way she had come.

When she got back to the glade, she leaned against a tree and thought for awhile about the evening. She couldn't understand why, but the young prince seemed to like her. She rather liked him, too, but she wouldn't admit it to herself yet.

She could worry about going inside the palace later. For now, she was pleased with just sitting in the garden and listening to Westley play his guitar. She might even do that a few more nights, instead of just one. She might not ever go into the palace at all. For the moment, she didn't care. She soon fell asleep, all her worries temporarily put out of her mind.

The next afternoon, Rhapsody found herself doing something she hadn't done in a few years: she was bathing in a stream near the glade, running her fingers through her hair to get the tangles out. She wanted to look her best, for what it was. She hated her murky light brown hair because it was so straight, thin, and stringy. She hated her skin because it was so pale, and she was covered in cuts and bruises from her recent combat training with Stayne and a few recent hunts for food. She hated the dress she wore because it was so dark and dingy. The queen had given it to her, and she was grateful, but she wished it was a little more comely. She hated her eyes because they weren't a distinct color: they were a mix of gray and blue, and even a little light brown around the pupils. She hated almost everything about her looks, but she wanted to at least look the best she could since she would be visiting a prince.

She knew he had seen her the night before, looking like the savage she was, but she wanted so badly to impress him anyway. She couldn't imagine why, but she he been able to think of nothing but him she had awoken. She thought of his hair, how clean and dark it was. She thought of his eyes, so deep and green. He was tall, and he held his head high. He had an air of authority that made him seem so strong.

She kept trying to snap herself out of it, to concentrate on the task the Red Queen had given her, but she couldn't tear her mind away from her prince.

"Your prince, huh?" he was grumbling to herself as she put her dress back on, "What makes you think you have a right to call him that? He's nothing to you." She strapped her dagger to her leg again, just in case she needed it for something. "You need to get your head out of the clouds, Rhapsody. He's the son of the very woman you're trying to dethrone. You don't need to get too close to him."

And that's when it hit her. She wrung her hair out as best she could and smiled. "That's it! This is perfect!" She was very pleased with herself at the plan she had come up with. She would indeed get close to the prince. She would get so close to him, in fact, that he would invite her into the palace. Once she was inside, she would take the sword. It would be simple, easy, and even fun. She could hardly wait to go back to the palace. She no longer felt like she was going against her queen by spending time with Westley.


	8. Chapter 8 Dork

When Teddy and Kim neared the Turgey Wood, they hesitated. "What is it?" Kimi asked Teddy.

"Uh…" he pulled a map out of his pocket and showed it to Kimberlee. "Where would you like to go first?"

"You're the guide, silly," she replied, "You pick."

He hesitated, studying the map. "Well, you want me to show you the fortress the Red Queen used to live in? It's actually kinda cool."

"Sure."

"Alright. It's still a ways off yet, but I know the way," he said, folding up the map and stuffing it back into his pocket. "Follow me." She opened her mouth to speak, but he beat her to it, "I know, I know, you are." She just giggled and gave a small nod.

They walked in silence again for a few minutes. Then, Teddy turned to Kimi and said, "You wanna know what was bothering me yesterday when we were walking along?"

"If you're sure you wanna tell me," she answered quietly.

"I'm sure," he said. He didn't continue right away, so Kimi didn't say anything either. He stepped off the path into a field of wildflowers and tall grass, and Kimi followed. She followed him until they came to a big rock, which he sat on. She sat beside him and looked at him. He sighed deeply and muttered "I'm really worried about my dad. Even more now than I was yesterday. He just hasn't been himself lately."

"He's worried about the Klingon Day."

"I don't think that's all it is. I think something else is bothering him, too."

"Have you talked to him about it?"

"You know why I can't do that," he replied, "He'll get even more upset."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Do you have any idea what might be bothering him?"

"Well, I've been thinking about it a lot, and I've come up with a few possibilities," he paused and took a deep breath before continuing, "He's been talking a lot lately about how he's getting old. Maybe he thinks he's going to die soon."

"That's possible," was all Kim could think of to say.

"Along those same lines, I was thinking maybe he's thinking back on his past because he's getting old. Maybe regretting things. I don't know. Sometimes he gets this distant look in his eye, like he's daydreaming or something. Then he'll start reciting poetry and stuff—you've heard him do that before—and sometimes he says little things about…" he stopped short.

"…About?" she prompted quietly.

"About my mama." His eyes sort of glazed over, and he didn't say anything else. They sat in silence for a few moments, and then Teddy abruptly stood and said, "Well, we'd better be on our way." Kimi stood and followed him without a word.

As they were walking along, Teddy began to mumble to himself in Outlandish. He sounded just like his father, and Kimi smiled. Their hands hung at their sides, so she reached over and silently took his hand. His step seemed to falter for just a second, but he said nothing.

"What sort of things does the Hatter say about your mother, Teddy?" she asked finally.

He didn't answer right away, and they walked on quietly for a moment. Then he muttered, "He says she was the most beautiful woman in all the land. He says she was tranquil as a forest, gentle and kind, but her eyes were like the Crimson Sea, dark and wild and full of fire." He suddenly stopped talking and looked at Kimi, then looked forward again. "You know how he is, always saying stuff like that. But he never says anything important." He seemed to correct himself by adding, "He never tells me anything about what happened to her."

"Wow," Kimi whispered. She tried not to look down at their joined hands, but she couldn't help it. She knew what was happening, but she wasn't sure yet if she liked it or not.

She was slowly but surely falling for her best friend, Theodore Hightopp, son of the Hatter of the White Queen of Underland.


End file.
